A Little Humour
WHA'S LIKE US?
Damn Few and they're a' Deid!
The average Englishmane in the home he calls his castle, slips into his national costume - a shabby raincoat- patented by chemist Charles Macintosh from Glasgow, Scotland.
En route to his office he strides along the English lane, surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr, Scotland. He drives an English car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop of Dreghorn, Scotland. At the office he receives the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented By James Chalmers of Dundee, Scotland. During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland.
At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bicycle invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, blacksmith of Dumfries, Scotland. He watches the news on T.V. an invention of John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, Scotland. And hears about the U.S. Navy, founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean, Scotland.
He has by now been reminded too much of Scotland and in desperation he picks up the bible, only to find that the first man mentioned in the good book is a Scot - King James VI - who authorised its translation. Nowhere can an Englishman turn to escape the ingenuity of the Scots. He could take to drink but the Scots make the best in the world. He could take a rifle and end it all but the breech-loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick Ferguson Of Pitfours, Scotland. If he escapes death, he could find himself on an operating table injected with penicillin, discovered by Sir Alexander Fleming of Darvel, Scotland and given chloroform, first used in midwifery and discovered by Sir James Young Simpson of Bathgate, Scotland.
Out of the anaesthetic he would find no comfort in learning that he was as safe as the Bank Of England, founded by William Paterson of Dumfries, Scotland. Perrhaps his only remaining hope would be to get a transfusion of guid Scottish blood which would entitle him to ask:
"WHA'S LIKE US?"